Passive Rejection: What's Wrong with It & Why It Needs to Stop

 

I write for a fabulous dating blog called Really-- He's Just Not That Into You where we blog and vlog about the dating life of single ladies.  On that site we accept questions from our readers about dating conundrums  and do our best to answer them. One question that we get over and over and over and over and over again is "we've gone out [X]times and had so much fun, everything seemed to be going well, but now I never hear from him. What happened?" --This seriously makes me so mad, and it needs to stop. There are only so many times that we can tell girls that "he's just not that into you" before it grows old.

Guys I get it, dating is rough on your side.  You have to initiate and define, both intimidating and hard things, but for just the few moments you read this post please oh please try to see this from our perspective.

Let me clear this up a little fellas.

 Imagine a time when you liked a girl, asked her out, took her out [X times] and had a good time and were given every reason to think she had fun too. Now imagine when you tried calling her and she didn't answer and turns you into that guy who creepily calls over and over again "without getting the hint."

Doesn't that make you so mad?  How many times have guys said, "if you don't like us just let us know, don't just cut us off and make us feel stupid." Let's be real here, how many times have you said, "just tell us..." and felt entitled to your frustration when we didn't "just tell you" whatever it was that you thought we should have the decency to say.

Annoying right? Well, flip that and put the girl in your position. Girls obviously want to date, we love men and that's basically all we talk about, that's what we put our money down to watch movies and read books about, good heavens it's what we blog about.

We wait to be asked out and when we finally are, and by a guy we like, we get excited. Then the date ends, we go home full of butterflies and tell all our friends about how amazing you were and then we wait, and wait and wait. Days go by. Those days turn into weeks. Nothing.

Maybe some of the bolder of us will send a text or call you, only to get nothing or something really vague back. We hold on and wait and wait-- because that is what girls do, wait for guys to make something happen. And then a month later we're left with the reality that you're never calling.

You not calling or letting us know that you aren't as interested as you thought you might be is exactly the same as us not answering when you try to get a hold of us. It's passive rejection and it's mean and insensitive and immature.

You don't like it when the girls you like blow you off and stop acknowledging your existence. So why would we be okay with you doing that to us?

If you want girls to "just tell you..." whatever, then you need to be willing to do the same. It's the golden rule people.

Questions, comments, concerns? Put them in the box below.