(sorry, this is the cleanest version of this song I could find.)
"I think I loved the idea of being in love with someone. Who doesn't? I loved being loved by him. I loved the idea of being in love and having someone love me the way he did, I just didn't love him as much as I should have." -Julie (a wise woman I don't actually know)
Sometimes we humans do silly, thoughtless things, like stay in relationships that are either unhealthy or pointless and unfulfilling because we fear the idea of being alone more than we fear ending up ultimately unhappy.
Isn't that oddly twisted? Shouldn't it be obvious that an extended sojourn through the [seemingly] desolate land of singleness be wholly worth a desirable ending? But too often we get caught up in fear, which in and of itself is completely irrational, and cling desperately to relationships that we know won't end happily.
"Also ending relationships for the sake of being healthy is worth being single for a while. Being emotionally healthy is empowering. Taking the time to develop a great foundation of self-worth is priceless. It's a sacrifice, but totally worth it." - Julie
If you are wondering if you are caught up in a tangling dead-end relationship instead of real love, ask yourself, "If we were to stay together would I still respect myself? Would we be happy in six months? Three years? Six years?" If you ask yourself these questions honestly you'll get the answer you're looking for.
A couple years ago I was in a dead-end relationship. I caught myself thinking about what it would be like to be in love. I wondered what it would be like to have a healthy relationship. Then I realized that I was thinking about these things while I was pretending to be in love and in a healthy relationship. I began to see that the two of us were leading to no where. Marriage was on the table and I really asked myself if I would still respect myself if I stayed with that man, then I realized that I wouldn't. It had to end. And it did. Do I regret that decision three years of singleness later? Nope. And neither will you.
Don't let desperation or confusion cloud your judgement.
Sometimes we humans do silly, thoughtless things, like stay in relationships that are either unhealthy or pointless and unfulfilling because we fear the idea of being alone more than we fear ending up ultimately unhappy.
Isn't that oddly twisted? Shouldn't it be obvious that an extended sojourn through the [seemingly] desolate land of singleness be wholly worth a desirable ending? But too often we get caught up in fear, which in and of itself is completely irrational, and cling desperately to relationships that we know won't end happily.
"Also ending relationships for the sake of being healthy is worth being single for a while. Being emotionally healthy is empowering. Taking the time to develop a great foundation of self-worth is priceless. It's a sacrifice, but totally worth it." - Julie
If you are wondering if you are caught up in a tangling dead-end relationship instead of real love, ask yourself, "If we were to stay together would I still respect myself? Would we be happy in six months? Three years? Six years?" If you ask yourself these questions honestly you'll get the answer you're looking for.
A couple years ago I was in a dead-end relationship. I caught myself thinking about what it would be like to be in love. I wondered what it would be like to have a healthy relationship. Then I realized that I was thinking about these things while I was pretending to be in love and in a healthy relationship. I began to see that the two of us were leading to no where. Marriage was on the table and I really asked myself if I would still respect myself if I stayed with that man, then I realized that I wouldn't. It had to end. And it did. Do I regret that decision three years of singleness later? Nope. And neither will you.
Don't let desperation or confusion cloud your judgement.
For more on this topic read this.