Who We Are Determines Who We Get

 

And vice versa, may I suggest. 

So, for the last... well to be honest, 18 years (being a girl and all) I've been thinking about what I want from a marriage and a spouse.  I'm so grateful that I've "made it this long" and not gotten married yet.  The old ladies in my home ward always tell me that they can't believe that I'm 25 and not married because I'm just "so pretty."  Well, for me it's been a blessing.  I'm getting better at understanding what's important in a spouse and in a marriage, things I would have never thought about a few years before now.

What do I want?  Well it's simple really, I want:

a.) The type of man that I can tell my daughters to grow up and "marry someone just like daddy."

Yep, that's pretty much it.  What kind of man would you want for your daughters?  Doesn't that pretty much sum up what you want for yourself?

We all on some level realize that if we want something in our better half we probably should at the very least be trying to be that ourselves.  So, I need to try and be the type of woman that I'd want my boys to end up with, and maybe more importantly, the kind of woman that my husband would tell my sons to grow up and marry.

For those of you who are a bit more specific than me, think of it like this:

Men:

• Are you attracted to beautiful, thin, outgoing, stylish women? Then you really ought to be handsome, fit, outgoing and stylish.
• Are you attracted to women who are strong in the gospel, active in their religious endeavors, and have strong testimonies? In that case, is it really reasonable that they should be attracted to you if you only go to sacrament meeting, don't mind breaking the Sabbath for super good reasons like a game of flag football with your buddies? Or if you don't take your calling as home teacher seriously? Probably not.  Actually on second thought, take the "probably" out and just say no.
• Are you attracted to the very creative or very intellectual girls (oh good gracious I hope some of you said yes)?  Then you need to brush up on those things.

Ladies, you can't get out of this:

• Are you attracted to super outdoorsy and/or athletic guys?  Well, it may be time to strap on some gym/hiking shoes.
• Are you attracted to the very well dressed, debonaire guys?  The question you may need to be asking yourself is if your clothes match his?
• How about the guys who are deeply spiritual and desire to be the best person they can?  Then ask yourself if you're working on yourself and your testimony? Are you dressing modestly? Are you trying to actively serve others?

You get the idea.  Don't expect someone who you have nothing in common with socially, physically, mentally and spiritually to like you.  If you want a certain type of person you just have to be that type of person.  Don't be a hypocrite. 

And it works in reverse too, don't think that you can make someone like the things you like, or be who you are if they are not naturally inclined to go that direction. Recognize that what you desire in a mate is what you ultimately desire from yourself and even if you were to get that person they will never make up for those qualities in your own soul.