A Passion By Any Other Name Is.... Apparently Not Good Enough
Not too long ago I was "spending time with this guy in a dating fashion" (my new favorite saying, thanks to my roommate Brittany). I thought things were going well; we had good conversation, laughed a lot, etc., but true to my luck I was wrong. What happened? I don't have a deep and moving passion for all things music. I enjoy music, I respect music, I enjoy concerts and shows, but alas I'm not in a band nor do I play a musical instrument. He said to me, "I just can't respect someone who doesn't have my level of passion." It's nice to be told you're beneath general respect. I became incredibly okay with the death of that relationship at that moment.
I completely understand the desire to find someone who has passion in life. Someone who has a driving force, an art if you will. But what I don't and can't understand is what difference it makes if some one's passion is different than yours? Why is a passion different from your own less attractive? Less impressive?
I have a friend that builds ponds. Ponds. She knows all about different kinds of plants and fish for various types of ponds and climates. When she talks about the makings of a pond her face lights up and she gets excited. Her hands get animated and she smiles more, you can see her brain working and becomes even prettier than she already is. It's fun to see. I have another friend who loves biking, like Lance Armstrong, across America biking. His love for pushing himself and his love for that excruciating pain are things I will never understand, but when he's looking at bikes or talking about his adventures he takes with only his bike, like my pond friend, something in him changes.
What does it matter if the person you choose to be with is just like you? In fact, I ask why would you want to be with just yourself? Passion is incredibly attractive, obviously. I understand having passion and the drive it gives you, the light it brings into your life, but there is nothing wrong with being introduced to new things, wonderful things you've never thought about before. In all actuality that ought to be what we want.
Compatibility does not equate exact matching up of personality. It's okay if others are different. It makes life interesting.
I completely understand the desire to find someone who has passion in life. Someone who has a driving force, an art if you will. But what I don't and can't understand is what difference it makes if some one's passion is different than yours? Why is a passion different from your own less attractive? Less impressive?
I have a friend that builds ponds. Ponds. She knows all about different kinds of plants and fish for various types of ponds and climates. When she talks about the makings of a pond her face lights up and she gets excited. Her hands get animated and she smiles more, you can see her brain working and becomes even prettier than she already is. It's fun to see. I have another friend who loves biking, like Lance Armstrong, across America biking. His love for pushing himself and his love for that excruciating pain are things I will never understand, but when he's looking at bikes or talking about his adventures he takes with only his bike, like my pond friend, something in him changes.
What does it matter if the person you choose to be with is just like you? In fact, I ask why would you want to be with just yourself? Passion is incredibly attractive, obviously. I understand having passion and the drive it gives you, the light it brings into your life, but there is nothing wrong with being introduced to new things, wonderful things you've never thought about before. In all actuality that ought to be what we want.
Compatibility does not equate exact matching up of personality. It's okay if others are different. It makes life interesting.
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