A Conversation That Just Happened

My dear and lovely roommate, we'll call her "Whitney" to protect the "innocent" [insert eye roll here], told me she wants to invite her current "man-friend" over and she doesn't like the idea of me being within 14 feet of them at all times (our apartment is very small). You can't blame the girl. It isn't easy dating in our matchbox of an apartment.

I asked where I should go.

She said she would give me money to go to a movie... by myself.

[Insert my sad face here.] -me

Maybe you could go up Provo Canyon? -her

By myself? No, that's creepy. People get raped in Provo.- me

Well, I guess you could just stay in your room, but you'll need to stay in there with the lights off and don't move around too much or he'll know. -her

Maybe I could just put a blanket at the foot of my door to block the light.-me

Yeah, that would work.- her

What if I need to go to the bathroom? -me

Don't drink any water. -her

I already did. -me

Go now, get it all out and if you need to go later hold it. - her

[Insert sad face.] -me

I need a boyfriend. -me