The Loveliness of Possibility

It's coming!  It's really coming!  The new semester!  I LOVE  new semesters!  I love beginnings!  I love the fact that I have no idea what's coming!  I love it now and I've always loved it. 

I found this journal entry from when I was 20 and though some things are the same I am relieved to see that I've grown a bit.  All the same it's relevant.  So I share.

I love possibility. Any kind really. I love the feeling when you first get to know someone, the chance of a new, amazing friend. I love the moment when you first realize that you could really click with someone. I love the possibility of new experiences. I love the possibility that is created by new perspectives. I love it all.
I love the time just before a new semester, when everyone is willing to try new people on for size, when just about everyone is willing to try a new life. I love the feeling of not knowing if you are going to step back into the semester before or if this new one may lead to something better. Possibilities are endless after a summer of working and being away then coming back knowing that this could be the four months that will change the rest of your life.

I love the possibility of a relationship. I love over analyzing, reading into, and agonizing over details that in the end, rarely become anything. I love the possibility of it all. Its exciting to me to know that the next love story in my life may be that guy I pass everyday on my way to institute, or that guy my friend has been meaning to set me up with, or that guy Ive known since forever. I love how ridiculous it all is. The wondering, the waiting, the possibility.  

I love bran new classes that appear to have nothing to do with what I think I want, because maybe in that oh so useless class lies my future passion. I love the possibility that is created by taking those annoying breadth and depth classes. I think that this is what I want until I understand, and realize for the first time that I was all wrong and there is a better fit for me somewhere else.  

I just wish I was better at meshing the old with the new. That there was a way to hold onto both. Change is my fear, but possibility is my love. I believe that everything happens for a reason, so there must be reason for the change. I love finding out why. Why did I meet who I met? Why did I go where I went? Why am I here with these people and not there with those? There is a reason. And so, I love the possibility of it all.


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