Recognizing a Good Foundation--Or a Bad One for that Matter

       Good relationships are a lot like the history of the Salt Lake LDS Temple-- keep reading, don't let that devil on your shoulder tempt you into rolling your eyes and clicking out!  I have some important insights to be made.

       So a long long time ago in the desert land of then "Deseret" now known as Utah were some Mormon pioneers building a temple that they have been waiting years and years for the very freedom to dream of.  After nine years of mining, cutting, transporting and laying the foundation was finished.  Around this time the Mormons-- then violently forced out the United States for their "constitutionally protected right" of religious prerogative-- were warned that the US government was sending military troops into the Salt Lake Valley.  Out of fear of further abuse the Mormons covered the foundation with dirt to appear less settled. 

       Eventually the troops left and the Mormons uncovered the foundation and discovered that the stone that they had used was cracked and ruined (hello! blessing in disguise!). When this was brought to the attention of Brigham Young he looked around in despair thinking of the faithful work of the Saints that had spent NINE laborious years building what they believed to be the shining beacon of their future.  He sat upon a foundation stone and said he wouldn't move until he knew what to do.  Eventually after consulting (while still sitting in the same place mind you) with others the conclusion was that the obvious was unavoidable if they were to be ultimately successful: They would have to strip out the old foundation and start again. Forty years later they completed the temple  (after Brigham Young's death).  And today it still stands in all its majesty.

        You may be asking yourself what this has to do with relationships.  Well, it would be my pleasure to tell you.

1. God is a smart and caring all-powerful man.  He always shows us the cracks in a foundation before they cause lasting problems.  I have never ever heard a person after a break up or a divorce not say that there were red flags before that they should have paid more attention to.  DO NOT IGNORE THE WAVING RED FLAGS. They are there to serve a purpose.  
2.  Sometimes when you are in a crappy relationship it's better to gut it and start over than to just build on hoping that it won't cave in on you later. Whether this means a breakup (not a divorce--divorcing is not breaking up... just saying) or just re-evaluating your current stability.
3. Time and effort is never wasted if you've learned and moved on and up after. I know that it can feel frustrating because you've invested all this time and energy and it seems like gutting it would just be devastating, well don't look at it like a waste, you never would have learned it any other way.  It's good for you.