My Dissection of Rejection

Feeling sad and rejected?  Maybe you should rethink whether or not you have any reason to frown. I've noticed something that seems to be a bit of an unsettling pattern among the men I've socialized with as of late; it seems terribly easy to convince a guy of your alleged disinterest.  I will elaborate.

Once upon a time there was a boy who knew a girl.  This boy was a handsome boy, a bit of an over thinker, but a nice boy. This girl was a pretty girl, a "confusing" girl, but a nice girl.  Boy thought, hmm, I'd like to know this pretty girl better. Then and there the confusion began.

Most unfortunately for this nice boy and girl they lived in the year 2011.  By this time in history mankind had twisted and befuddled itself into a confusing and dysfunctional formula of: boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy must treat girl like an "equal" meaning he must treat her like a boy by not assuming that she would want to be asked out directly, but also treat her like a girl who appreciated kind gestures--but not chivalrous gestures! He must treat her like a casual friend first--specifically a guy friend, though a feminine guy friend as to not offend nor impose.  But in this he must be careful not to assume that she can't do the asking out herself if she were interested and the type to do such.  He must be careful of her feelings, but at the same time treat her as if she doesn't have them.  And so on and so forth with the nonsense....

While navigating through the murkiness that is  modern gender roles & rules the boy must also take himself into consideration.  What does he want?  What does he want her to think that he wants?  These are important (apparently) because he wouldn't want her to get the "wrong" idea.  I mean, he doesn't even know her that well!  Maybe he doesn't want anything after all.  Maybe after one "date/hang out" he'll realize that he isn't interested, and if that's the case then he wouldn't want to give her the wrong idea and make her think he wants a relationship. 

To be on the safe side he just says something like (through a text message or a Facebook chat-- ya know, gotta keep it on the DL, in the low key or whatever) "hey, so you want to hang out sometime."  And the girl will most likely respond with something equally as vague, "Sure."  A week passes.  Two weeks. A month. Nothing.  Boy sees girl at something and asks, "So, when are we going to hang out?"  Girl in a mix of confusion, desire and flat out frustration replies, "weekends are good for me."  Then again  week, two weeks, a month.  Nothing.

Later boy runs into girl at a store of some sort.  Girl approaches boy, "hey! Fancy meeting you here!."  Boy, "Oh hey!"  Chit chat occurs.  Boy thinks, this may be my chance, something has to happen today!  "So, me and my buddy here are going to get some lunch after this, wanna come?"  Girl says, "Yeah! Sounds good," even though she basically has $10 to her name and has not a clue whether or not this guy is going to pay...

Lunch leads to hang out, which unavoidably leads to a last-minute scheduling of a second hang out the very next day.  Girl says yes out of desperation for this to finally go somewhere.   The next day comes, girl remembers a previous engagement of which she simply and sincerely cannot un-engage herself, apologizes and asks for a rescheduling for the next weekend.  Boy says, "sure, whatever."  Girl recognizes this as a bad response.

Boy feels rejected (Thinking: You don't have to tell me twice.  I can take a hint.).  Girl doesn't hear from boy ever again and is left utterly confused.  Girl runs into boy and tries to strike up another conversation, boy gives her the cold shoulder (Thinking: I wasn't interested in being a pity friend).  Girl walks away embarrassed.

Who really rejected who?  Hmmm?

Sound familiar?  If so, boys, you probably weren't actually rejected.  Girls, oh well, you deserve a guy who will ask you on a real date-- with his voice-- and admit that it's a date.  Hold out!  He's out there somewhere! He's just gotta be!