Getting the Guy (or the Girl... I guess)

A follower posed this question: How can I let a guy know that I'm interested?

Step One: Get on his radar.

This is something I talked about in the vlog, if this is a guy that doesn't know that you exist because your interactions end at you staring lustfully at him from across the room, you're in doom zone. Honey, he needs to know you are there and he needs to know your name and... to be frank he needs to care. So, if this is your situation, get on his radar.

Step Two: Be willing to put yourself out there.

We ladies like to throw one punch in the air in feminism saying that we can do anything a man can do (and probably better) and then another fist goes up declaring that we aren't going to do anything about it. 

The world has become a confusing and poisonous place for relationships. It's hard to know who does what anymore. Well, my lady friends, even I, who adamantly believes in firm gender roles, am here to say it's about time that we help clear up some of the fog for our handsome objects of affection.

Men are simple creatures, not stupid, just simple, but they think and feel much the way we do, it's the output that gets all muddled. When they tell us, "hey, we're dumb, just tell us what you want," we take that to mean that we have to do all the work. I've come to learn that that isn't at all what they mean when they say that, it's just still in man-language.

Let me try to translate that into girl-language: Guys do like being the "hunters" they like providing and taking care and being manly and impressive and the like, they don't really want to give up that role.

The thing is that we ladies aren't exactly deer bouncing through a thicket and they can't just pull out a rifle and shoot us, so they are a little concerned with how to get us without killing us or scaring us off.

My remedy: if you think he's worth it, go for it. If you want him to be around, then suggest doing something together.

*** WARNING WARNING: Do not suggest hanging out! *** 

 Step Two-Point-Five: Suggest a date-like activity.


Guys really aren't as thick as we (or they) think they are.  They really do step up to the plate once they know where it is.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life and where I'm going and what I'm doing to get there and I got very fed up feeling like nothing was going right and I wasn't getting what I wanted out of life. Thus I decided to make a change.

Change isn't easy but it's necessary and incredibly liberating.

There is a guy that has literally been in my life since before I can remember and I've always been interested in him.  So on Sunday I was feeling pretty liberated and ready for a change so I texted him (because I'm a girl and I'm allowed to be more subtle in my ways) and told him that I would be in Salt Lake the following day and that if he was free we should go to dinner (he lives kinda far away and Salt Lake City is about halfway from my place to his).

His response: I like the way you think.

Better than that he took complete control of the situation.  He asked around to find out some great restaurant options and emailed me what he found, he set the time we'd meet, obligingly paid for dinner and walked me sweetly to my car (after opening all troublesome doors), hugs and goodnight.

What a gentlemanly man.

It was just me and him and it was very clear to him that I wanted to spend one-on-one time with him. Ta-da!

Step Three: Surround yourself with positivity.

Nothing sucks the chances out of a happily ever after like dispair, frustration and negativity.

If you and your girls like to sit around and complain about men and talk about how desperate you are (and you know you do) you are quickly drenching yourself and crazy-lady perfume that only men can smell.

When you're trying to pluck up the courage to do something bold you'll only weaken your resolve and your chances with being negative or being around negative people.

Like the old adage goes, "people either inspire you or drain you, so choose wisely" (Hans F Hansen) be careful who you allow to influence how you feel.

Gage where your faith and hope meter is when you're around someone.  There is your answer.

And on a final note of a very long post: SO WHAT IF YOU INITIATE  IT?! Women usually do.  It's been studied and verified that women are initiators of relationships. But be careful to avoid two major mistakes:

1- Taking full control: relationships exist between two people and you don't want a man who will be dependent on you, you want someone you can lean against and who will lean against you (hoorah! for interdependency!). Also, this frightens off many men.  You don't like it when guys are domineering and don't take hints when you aren't interested. So be what you're looking for, it doesn't hurt to show some initiative.

2- Initiating a hang out: Ugh that gives me goosebumps from hell!  I HATE hanging out!  It caused all that's wrong with relationships today!  And on top of all that now we have the horrifyingly awkward need to DTRs (define the relationships talks) because of hanging out!  Don't ever suggest to hang out.  Avoid that phrase as you would the Deplorable Word that the evil White Witch used to kill all living things in her sad sad world (yes I just dorked-out on Narnia). DON'T HANG OUT!