Lies We Tell Ourselves to Feel Better

The first time it happened I thought, "well, gee that's annoying."  The second time it happened I said to myself,  "huh, random."  The third time it happened I began to sense a pattern.  The fourth time I became suspicious.  And now, number five, I'm considering starting a business.

It's become official, I am a marriage prepper.

You may wonder what that means.  It means anytime and every time I date a guy seriously he marries the next girl he dates seriously.  To be honest this last time it hit me a little harsher than the previous times, maybe because he was so open to mocking the very idea of marriage, especially one involving me.  But, I'm trying to be mature and just be sad-ish and move on as opposed to being angry (because anger is just a cover emotion anyway, just get to the real emotion).

I was talking to a friend and true to pity party style the concept of my life being "so much cooler" than his came up.  You know the idea that the best revenge is living well.  I mean let's go over the facts:  I've lived in a foreign country twice, backpacked through Europe with friends, I'm helping produce a world changing documentary that I really believe in, and a few other one-upper statements are true of me, and the coolness will just continue, trust me.

Forgive me, I digress, let's get back to the point.

Those of us left behind by the healthy relationship bandwagon like to throw back our "cool lives" in the faces of those who get a ride, but let's face it, reality tells me that even though in a few years time I'll probably be living in New York or somewhere else lovely and adventurous, and travelling the world, publishing and writing up a storm I'll still feel the burn when yet another string of my exes move on to their happily ever afters.

Conquering the world is fun and all, but everyone has to go home at night.  If no one is there that conquered world stops existing for those few hours.  It's easy to say, "I don't want to get married for awhile, I've got stuff to do,"  or "I'm not ready for a serious relationship, I've got a life to live before I can settle down."  But, is that not just lying even just a little?  Everyone knows deep down that love matters more than that check list.  Reality, bills, and responsibilities are there in or out of love, so why not deal with them with someone who's on your side.