Soul Mate in The Making
A friend of mine and her boyfriend of about a year recently broke up. She was talking to me about how she sincerely thought that he was "The One"- the one that she had been waiting for, the one that would make her happy, whole, stronger, the one that was designed for her. She sat and listed off all the "signs" that seemed to divinely point to him saying, "You two are so MFEO!" (and for all you that have never seen Sleepless in Seattle that stands for Made For Each Other). What happened? Why didn't they make it? Did she lose her chance to be with her soul mate?
This misguided concept of a soul mate has long since troubled me. The belief that there is one person out there in the great expanse of the world that was entirely designed to be your other half is an unfortunate residue of Greek mythology, sappy 70s love songs and a "total misreading of the movie The Graduate." The idea that there is a special one and only out there just for you is terribly sad and hopeless and unfounded. It breads nothing but fear, desperation, and problems. I purpose that soul mates are not found but made.
A wise and insightful man named Thomas S Monson once said, "Chose your love and love your choice." Choice! What a beautiful concept. We are in control of our future.. If not us than who? Believing that there is only one person in the great expanse takes away all sense of responsibility and accountability. There are no signs pointing to the One because there is no One. When we see signs we're really desperately grappling for something to hold onto when there is nothing else to give us hope. Don't depend on signs, or cosmic forces, depend on yourself, depend on your own ability to sense what is best for you and the person you choose.
And most importantly, when you choose and that choice becomes a commitment (like marriage) don't go back on your choice. Life is hard, it's supposed to be, and sometimes that means that love is work. When life throws its curve balls don't think it's a sign! Remember, there are no external signs. Work harder, love more, and have faith in the choice.
This misguided concept of a soul mate has long since troubled me. The belief that there is one person out there in the great expanse of the world that was entirely designed to be your other half is an unfortunate residue of Greek mythology, sappy 70s love songs and a "total misreading of the movie The Graduate." The idea that there is a special one and only out there just for you is terribly sad and hopeless and unfounded. It breads nothing but fear, desperation, and problems. I purpose that soul mates are not found but made.
A wise and insightful man named Thomas S Monson once said, "Chose your love and love your choice." Choice! What a beautiful concept. We are in control of our future.. If not us than who? Believing that there is only one person in the great expanse takes away all sense of responsibility and accountability. There are no signs pointing to the One because there is no One. When we see signs we're really desperately grappling for something to hold onto when there is nothing else to give us hope. Don't depend on signs, or cosmic forces, depend on yourself, depend on your own ability to sense what is best for you and the person you choose.
And most importantly, when you choose and that choice becomes a commitment (like marriage) don't go back on your choice. Life is hard, it's supposed to be, and sometimes that means that love is work. When life throws its curve balls don't think it's a sign! Remember, there are no external signs. Work harder, love more, and have faith in the choice.
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