Relationship Advice From My Family
"Nicole! Never get married! They're all a bunch of shitheads anyway!" - Grandma B.
"Oh well, maybe you'll be cute enough for him in 18 months." -Grandma B.
"It doesn't really matter who you marry anyway, you'll just end up having to train him to be who you want. Or he'll train you... but it'd be better if you trained him." - Uncle Steve
"Let me tell you something, all they want is sex. It's true! And even that gets old eventually." -Grandma B.
"Nicole, if you ever do anything with your life, just be sure not to make your husband miserable."-Grandpa B.
"Don't worry if you marry the wrong person. It doesn't matter if you stay married, but you absolutely must have children." - Grandma R.
Grandma B: "Nicole! You look so good!"
Me: "Thanks Grandma,"
GB: "You know how you stay that way?"
Me: "How?"
GB: "Stay single."
"Wanna know how to get a man? Here's what you do, you walk up to him, slam him against the wall-- well hopefully you won't break his elbow in the process..." cousin #7 (unfortunately he didn't tell me what step three was, so until then I guess I'll just walk around slamming guys into walls).
"Oh well, maybe you'll be cute enough for him in 18 months." -Grandma B.
"It doesn't really matter who you marry anyway, you'll just end up having to train him to be who you want. Or he'll train you... but it'd be better if you trained him." - Uncle Steve
"Let me tell you something, all they want is sex. It's true! And even that gets old eventually." -Grandma B.
"Nicole, if you ever do anything with your life, just be sure not to make your husband miserable."-Grandpa B.
"Don't worry if you marry the wrong person. It doesn't matter if you stay married, but you absolutely must have children." - Grandma R.
Grandma B: "Nicole! You look so good!"
Me: "Thanks Grandma,"
GB: "You know how you stay that way?"
Me: "How?"
GB: "Stay single."
"Wanna know how to get a man? Here's what you do, you walk up to him, slam him against the wall-- well hopefully you won't break his elbow in the process..." cousin #7 (unfortunately he didn't tell me what step three was, so until then I guess I'll just walk around slamming guys into walls).
