The Meaning of Life

Today I attended the funeral of a person I've known for 15 years. We weren't terribly close, I'll admit, but he was always around. He often came to my house when we were growing up under the guise of visiting my brother (his good friend), but I'm pretty convinced he just came to eat our leftovers.

He was the guy my grandmother always told me I should "give a shot" even though neither of us was remotely interested in the other. He was kind and thoughtful and sweet. He was loud and crass and outgoing and he died too young. He was only 30.

It's been a long week. It's been a long day. But in less than an hour it'll be tomorrow. In less than an hour it'll be next week.

This month has been a month of death, disappointment and dashed dreams. Times like this often garner thoughts and discussions of the meaninglessness of life or the cruelty of God. I'm not going to pretend like my thoughts haven't gone there from time to time. I'm not going to pretend like I've never blamed God for anything, never been mad at him. I won't pretend like I haven't had moments when I thought life was meaningless and too much.

What gets me out of that gutter? My interpretation of the meaning of life and what I think God's job is.

It seems like people love to talk about how unfair everything is, how somehow that unfairness is proof there is no God. Or, if there is, that he's terrible and not worth acknowledging. I think that can be a tempting road to walk down. It makes sense, right? If God were so loving, why is there so much suffering and injustice? Why won't he just take the reins he says he has and just take control already? Right?

I guess that depends on what you think the purpose of life is and what God has to do with it.

I believe the purpose of life is to learn to make meaning from chaos; to find peace in turmoil; to try for happiness amid  pain and depression; to keep trying to make a difference even while the mounting evidence tells you there's no point.

I believe the purpose of life is to not let disappointment, anger and fear author your world.

With that focus, if God intervened and prevented every heart from breaking, every dream from shattering, ever wicked deed from being committed, every medical tragedy from occurring, every stupid person from making a mess of things, he would completely defeat the purpose of life.

I don't think God asks us to pray, worship and thank him out of vanity or ironic cruelty. I think he does so to remind us to look for the good, focus on what can be done and let go of what can't. He tells us to leave our burdens with him not so that he can fix them, but so we can move on. So we can turn our attention to something else. If we don't we'll never truly know kindness, compassion, love, hope, creativity, and fun. Not only as gifts from him, but as gifts from us, one to another.

I think it's high time we take responsibility in one hand and perspective in the other and move forward. We need to stop blaming Deity for our trials. What's our fault is our fault. What's just bad luck is just bad luck. Tragedy is an inescapable part of life. People die. Hearts are broken. Earthquakes/flood/hurricanes/tornados/etc just happen-- and an "act of God" is just a slimy homeowner's insurance term.

Be love, give love, feel love. It's better that way.