Admirable Anger?

Once upon a time, many years ago a friend of mine told me that what she admired most about me was how I remained calm and unaffected when everyone else got angry. She told me that she learned from me that you can give people, irrational annoying people, slack simply by assuming the best and refusing to believe that they have bad intentions (or worse, no intentions at all).

Today, I woke up thinking about that. I don't know why, but I did. It hit me that I'm not that person anymore.

I look at my life and myself and can't help but wonder what happened? I had a strong impulse to call up my very best friend from five years ago and ask her if she thought I had changed.

But then, I realized she probably wouldn't know. We really haven't kept in touch.

I have a tendency when someone does something insensitive or upsetting, I start rambling off every possible good and not so good excuse they could possibly have for acting such. I still do that, but it's no longer my initial reaction. I now rant for awhile, then stew on it and then start trying to figure out what really may be going on.

But, buried inside of me is that girl who gave everyone a lot of slack, was slow to anger and self-righteousness-- and who, quite frankly, was much happier-- so maybe I still have a chance.

A chance to slow down the angry wrinkles forming between my eyebrows.

So here is what I'm going to do:

• Stop swearing. Swearing is a sign of a person who angers too easily. 
• Stop throwing chairs and breaking plates... in my head. It's ridiculous. 
• Stop being passive. Maybe speaking up, kindly, will release some of the anger. 
• Start assuming the best. 
• Start keeping the peace. 
• Start asking more questions. 

I read a few articles about the Abercrombie and Fitch CEO who said all the dumb things he did about "cool kids" and "not-so-cool kids" and how it's best to "exclude fat and ugly people" and thus I saw the video about the guy giving the thrift store A&F clothes to homeless people. Yes, the A&F CEO is a ... you know, but I couldn't help my initial thought that the guy insisting that everyone give their A&F clothes to the homeless in order to "change the image of the brand" isn't much better. 

Is it just me or is it potentially just as wrong to use homeless people (people trapped as social pariahs, already looked down upon by society) as pawns in a scheme devised from "anger and outrage"? Isn't this man basically labeling the homeless as the "not-so-cool" and preying on the fact that they are either ignorant of what's really happening to know that they are being used or else too desperate to refuse the "charity"/movement they've become a part of? 

It was that video that got me thinking about how acting out of anger may feel righteous and admirable, but in reality it's just anger expressed. Anger isn't real, it's a cover emotion for a heap of unsavory emotions that we don't want to confront. 

Why can't we just start a movement to go and just give homeless people clothes, just to be, ya know... nice. 

Isn't this why the Occupy movement failed? It was coming from the wrong place, even if it was the right thing to do. 

Why is anger so admired in our culture? Does it deserve the "righteous" association? 

I believe that anger makes war while honest goodness and pure love ultimately move mountains.